I think I am going to go do something I have never thought to do and I am totally afraid of. I used to perform..and then..something happened...I lost faith in myself and i lost my love for music from the music business but this isn't about the music business anymore, this is me..the new me, I don't need music to speak to people. I've changed and much of it has been through God.
Um, yeah. So tonight I am performing live stand up comedy on a open mic stage. For the first time in my life, I am totally nervous and I don't know what to expect at all. I'm not funny, and have no experience or knowledge of this. I have to get over myself though. I have to move past these confidence fears I have, and what better way than to do something I am totally afraid of even thinking about or think I could NEVER do? I don't know what I love and I'm looking for my passion - then maybe it's time to do some things that I've never considered doing, it doesn't have to be comedy - its just a way to really stretch and see what I am capable of!
Resistance is caused by fear. How will I ever change and grow and improve if I don't get over my resistances? This week it is stand up comedy, joining a choir and helping men who are abusive. I am going to transcend, breaking free from self-imposed barriers. These new experiences are welcome, because then we know that we can always adapt and be as vibrant as we determine - I'm an adult now, "adults" many times are set in their ways, and fears not always open to possibilities. I want to be a diff adult. I am reminded about Paul in the Bible encouraging us to throw off things that hinder and run the race with confidence.
No matter what happens, it will be good as it's nonetheless a learning experience for me. God loves me and He is always looking out for me. I mean look at me. Look at me! People always tell me they are inspired by me, I now realize they are inspired by me for a reason. I am amazing because I do what I say I am going to do. If I was ever happy, I would never have achieved any of the things I have or worked for. I have more of a reason now to do music than I ever have.
