My online singles ad

So I joined my first online singles ad place thingy and I am looking to meet people and hopefully find someone I can have a good time with that makes me laugh and is honest, drug free and not abusive.

With that... my online AD!

"I am learning more about myself everyday but, as people change, who we are today may not be who we are tomorrow so...with that, lets be straight, I am not going to sleep, fuck, or kiss you if we meet and hang out. I am going to thank you for your time and hopefully we had a good one, and go home to my own bed. I am looking to truly be friends first - completely platonic.

you are male: and you have the attention span to read, comprehend, and understand the below:

I am looking to meet people who are honest, has some morals and a love for themselves, other people and god.

The behaviors I am looking for are someone who does not make fun of people because it is not fun to them. Someone who is the type to give homeless people change once in blue, stays in with their gf if she's sick, who has the ability to listen to others openly without trying to change someone's mind to their way of thinking, is honest about everything (yes, even the bad) and who respects the words "no" and "I don't agree" in various contexts.

The person has a genuine smile to give even if they have had a bad day, is grateful for the things they own and people they have in their lives, are neat because they care about the things they have put effort into, and understands that sometimes we cannot get attention or an emotion from someone exactly when we need/want it, and they are def someone who will not sit on a couch/barstool for 6 hours and watch other people do what they could be doing themselves (if only they were sober).

The person I would like to be friends with is the type who deals with what life throws at them without running away or shutting themselves off and works it out, either physically mentally or emotionally in a true hearted manner, the person I will be friends with does not believe in the "female/male role" and does not subscribe to patriarchy or male privilege.

I want a man that can multi-task. (ie. Take the dog for a walk, stay late at work but also be able to call me, keep your promises or plan a date for us to spend some qt and go to church.) someone who is a aware of themselves and their bodies, into music, dancing, traveling, kinda romantic and is at least open to trying new things they have not done before or are not the best at (new activities, new sexual positions/places).

The person I want to be friends with when faced with a real problem, headache or issue doesn't participate in storming out, blaming others or threatening. Ideally you have the ability to say how you feel without resorting to silent treatment, blame or yelling. Think about your past relationships..Is that really you?

My future male friend does not belong to a lot of dating sites, nor is trying to make their next sexual conquest. Nor has something to prove to their daddy (or friends) and always on a roller coaster life ride of extreme and low self esteem - (ie. too much coffee, soda, lying, work, xtreme sports to the xtreme, drugs, alcohol, depression, etc).

I am looking for someone to hang out with that is confident, who doesn't drink or smoke, is not arrogant or selfish. I want someone who genuinely wants to get to know someone, who isn't going to try to have sex with me after the first night or even 3 months of knowing me and just see what happens. (god, thats alot of commas, I'm over them, are you?)

This is the moment where you can say to yourself, hey, couldn't I just find someone else than this girl who wants all this from me (from a guy) that I am not?

The answer is yes, you can! Please move onto another profile, there are tons of women out there and they are not like me.

They may care about more your car, your money and whether or not you will help them be "secure", than you. They may be unappreciative, they will lie to you, flirt with other men and talk badly about you behind your back and then again maybe they won't.

Any men that have truly read this and know they are like the above please get in touch. I would love to begin a friendship with you.

Good luck to all of you though - love is hard to find and it takes some work to keep strong - friendships are the same but why not start there and save your heart til its ready?

"true love is friendship on fire"

lies

DO NOT EVER SPEAK TO ME, IF YOU ARE GOING TO LIE.

liar - n : a person who has lied or who lies
repeatedly [syn: prevaricator]
      [ant: square shooter]

Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)

Liar \Li"ar\ (l[imac]"[~e]r), n. [OE. liere. See Lie to falsify.]
A person who knowingly utters falsehood; one who lies.

Satan is the "father of the lie". The Bible states him to be
"the father of the lie"...no one needs to hear him speak, the
scriptures speak volumes regarding honesty...

Gen.3:1-5; Satan told Eve she would not surely die.
Gen.3:19; Death is opposite of life.
John 8:44; Satan's lie has caused the death of every one of
the offspring of Adam.

John 8:44;You are from your father the Devil, and you wish to do the desires of your father. He one was a manslayer when he began, and he did not stand fast in the truth, because the truth is not in him. When he speaks the lie, he speaks according to his own disposition, because he is a liar and the father of [the lie].

Proverbs 6:16-19; 16) There are things that God does hate; yes, seven are things detestable to his soul: lofty eyes, a false tongue, hands that are shedding innocent blood, a heart fabricating hurtful schemes, feet that are in a hurry to run to badness, a false witness that launches forth lies, and anyone sending forth contentions among brothers.

Proverbs 14:5; A faithful witness is one that will not lie, but a false witness launches forth mere lies.

Revelation 21:27; But anything not sacred and anyone that carries on a disgusting thing and a lie will in no way enter into it (the kingdom of God); only those written in the Lamb's scroll of life [will].

Colossians 2:8; Look out: perhaps there may be someone who will carry you off
as his prey through the philosophy and empty deception according to the elementary
things of the world and not according to Christ;

-Parents subject to compulsive lying become suspicious and distrustful of their
children,and the children conversely become more unruly and more dishonest. 
Once the cycle of lying and distrust is in full swing, it is difficult to find
a single way in which the cycle may be stopped.-

Why Are You Lying?

Recognizing that there are "special needs", however, only allows the parent to seek more help. There are still some fundamental reasons why children lie compulsively.

1. Fear. Fear is a common motivator for lying. Consider the child who lies because she fears that her mother would "blow up" at her, or that dad would take privileges away, or that the teacher would send her (or her friend) to the principal's office. Such fear may be rational or irrational, but the effect of lying is similar - a temporary shelter from punishment.

What do we do about fear motivated lies? Consider two important implications. First, children who lie out of fear usually know that they have done something that is wrong. This provides an important clue for parents responding to the lying child. Consider that the child's problem is not in knowing what is wrong, but in resisting its temptation. Claiming "I've told you more than a hundred times..." does not help children deal with the heart of the error or disobedience. It merely alienates them. Parents have to get beyond the lie, and address the behavior that "necessitated" the lie in the first place.

Second, parents may need to accept that their children lie because they are afraid of their parents' temperament. It is not surprising that constantly angry, shouting, rigid or restrictive parents often encounter compulsively lying children. Allowing room for negotiation, compromise, listening before accusing, and keeping your volume down usually helps in paving the way for a more honest child communication.

2. Habit. Lying can also become a habit formed through constant practice. It is possible that a child can "lie by reflex", and when confronted insist that it is the truth. Habitual lying is often strengthened by hostile confrontation. One of the most effective ways of dealing with habitual lying is to give the child an opportunity to retract the lie without fear of consequences.

3. Modelling. Lying is a commonplace behaviour, and children are subject to lies all the time. The problem is that children learn to lie through experiencing or watching others lie. The dilemma is that it is impossible to shield children from lies. One parent who limited her child's friends to those who did not lie reduced the number of approved companions to just one, and that under close supervision!

One potent source of modelling, however, is from within the home. There is an old proverb that says, "What parents do in moderation, children do in excess." "Moderate" lying is thought of by many parents as harmless (such as a "white" lie, or a "harmless excuse") or mistakes (such as an unkept promise), or even purposeful and calculated distortions of the truth ("I had to lie because..."). Children, however, do not and cannot appreciate the nuances of a lie. Lying is lying. Since it is difficult for parents to control the lies that children will encounter outside the home, it is more useful to start eliminating lies from within the home. Make telling the truth a priority both in instruction and by example.

4. Overprediction. Children also lie because they overpredict a reaction. One child said, "I know mom would say 'no', so I lied." In reality, mom would merely have asked more questions and given her permission! One of the most productive ways of addressing overprediction is to provide a child with clear boundaries, and yet emphasize that these boundaries are negotiable. Making up the rules as you go along, and far too many "don'ts" and restrictions can promote lying behaviour.

Compulsive lying is a common disorder often caused by low self-esteem and a need for
attention. Often, the liar does not realize how often he or she is lying because it becomes
second nature or habit (indeed, it is often referred to as habitual lying).  

Compulsive lying alienates friends and loved ones and often brings
about the opposite of what the liar wants: instead of getting the attention
they often crave, they end up pushing people away and losing trust.
With therapy, many people can overcome their compulsion to lie and salvage
their trust in interpersonal relationships before it is too late.

A COMPULSIVE LIAR -
http://compulsiveliarsclub.blogspot.com/2006/11/definition.html
"This is my first step toward healing myself and those I have harmed with my
lies. I am admitting that I have a serious problem; I am a compulsive
liar.

This blog will chronicle my journey toward understanding
my compulsion, healing, and restoring my life. My hope is that this
will help others who suffer from the life-destroying effects of lies."