Sentimental Saturday -- The Diet Edition

So as almost everyone knows who really knows me knows that I am eating a very specific diet for the last 2 years since contracting Lyme Disease, Morgellons, and 7 other co-infections. Now starting a new phase with my LLMD, it was interesting to look back (I have tracked almost every meal and symptomology over the last 2 years) and see what I initially thought "eating healthy" meant and was.

I have learned so much more about hidden sugars, GMO foods, how to read ingredients labels and more that its astounding to me that I thought I would get well in how I was originally eating?! I am forever grateful to my early mentor and brother Peter for leading me in the right direction and learning how the body digests foods and such. DO NOT EAT THIS WAY!  LOL 

With that here is a peek: 12/15/2014
SUGAR ADDICT STATUS: So far I am still refined sugar free and I believe I am at least a week or so with being strictly protocol sugar free-all the Praise to God!

I literally ran out of my extension kit and had to just rely on the diet for 4 days; no Candida Rid; there was 1 day there that I just ate sooo much coconut manna (coconut puree) and almond butter; it was very frustrating for me! This week I am shooting once again for only having the "sugars allowed" on protocol. I believe they are natural vegetable sugars, (excluding the ones in the GIycemic article), Stevia, Xylitol, and natural nut sugars (except mold/fungus nuts - peanuts, etc). Here is those weeks diet /symptom diary. Any tweaks or substitutions are welcome! I am in SoCal and near a Trader Joe's, a Whole Foods and a Rainbow Acres "health food" store. Spending roughly $80-$100 a week in food for Freeman and I. =/

12/8/14
B: 1 8 oz whey protein shake
L: 1 protein Vega vitamins shake
S: 12 Mary's Gone crackers, 1/2 avocado w lemon, 1 C Small salad
D: 17 Mary's crackers, 2-5 tbsp Earth balance Butter (GMO free/sf), 3 pc chicken in protocol tomato sauce- no skin, no salt

Symptoms: Ph at 9 am was 6.0. Some fatigue, Weight = 98 lbs. Sore muscles from other days workout, Itchy bites on neck. Still. Red itchy on belly where my clove oil/coco oil mixture was put.

12/9
B: 2 scrambled eggs (in coco oil), 8 oz greens drink (celery, spinach, collards, lettuce w garlic)
L: mixed greens salad w goddess dressing, Lemon water, 2 oz coconut chkn in liquid aminos
D: 1 can tuna fish (w spinach, lettuce, and black olives), 2 C almonds  =(
3-4 tbsp coconut manna, 1 oz ground turkey w thyme &; rosemary

Symptoms: crawling random (legs, belly, back, feet) and red rashes (hands/wrists) ) while working w my storage papers and throwing them all away. PH was 7.5 most of day. Sore muscles from a light cardio & pilates workout. red rashes/burning on wrists while driving and vacuuming the car went away within hour. Crazy crawling at night from 11-3 am.  :( I also slept in Freeman's unwashed blankets and sheets (we sleep separately before marriage) I felt like I was back to "cannot sleep through the night" status and so I took a Melatonin 3 mg. Slept a bit better after.

12/10/14
B: celery sticks (2 stalks), 1 1/2 tbsp almond butter
L: 2 C mixed greens salad (collards, spinach) w dressing (salt, pepper, lemon, evoo), 1/4 c cucumbers
1 C red beans, 1/4 c Mixed nuts,
D: mixed veggies, 22 Mary's crackers, Homemade Hummus (org soaked chickpeas, evoo, salt, lemon)

Symptoms: Lots of random crawling during day and couple bites on butt from stings through my pants?! Random headache level 3-4, thru out the day too...

12/11
B: none - missed my pills this am also! :(
L: 16 oz water, 1 desperate pkg Target almonds in sea salt  :( -- 2-3G sugar
D: 3 C mixed greens salad, 2 tbsp goddess dressing-0g, 1/4 C cucumbers, 3/4 C Brown rice pasta
1/8 c protocol Tomato "sauce", 8 oz amazing grass superfood greens drink-  0g sugar, Celery sticks
2 tbsp homemade hummus, 1 C mixed stir-fry veggies minus the carrots (steamed, not fried)
S2: 1/2 c mixed nuts

Symptoms: Very light daytime crawling- feet, belly, legs. Itchy on neck from red bumps/bites. Light sneezing today. PH was 6.75 at 10 am. PH at 8:30 pm was 7.0-7.5. Aux Body temp 8:30p was 97.6. Weight=105. Up from 4 days ago. Roommate has a virus & is coughing- took precautions to not share food/utensils. Roommate thinks I am weird for this protection. OK..uh how do I know this isnt contagious.?  Wiping all surfaces down as she leaves each room. EXTREME stomach pains tonight like cramps times a million after my MMS dosing.

12/12/14
B: brown rice puffs, 1/2 C Califia Coconut almond milk, Handful of mixed nuts,  Green tea w lemon
L: 1/2 steamed potato, Mixed veggie leftovers, 2 tbsp almond butter, 2 tbsp coconut butter
S: (with the kids) Celery sticks 7, 7 Baked Goldfish - 4 mini pretzels :( --  grrr!!
D: 1 can tuna, 2 tsp of protocol mayo, 1 1/2 C mixed greens salad, 1 C Mixed veggies
S: 1/2 serving coco grove yogurt, 3 tsp mixed nuts

Symptoms. Very light morning crawling on my back. Itching bites on neck. Ph at 11a was 6.5. Slept ok. Ph at 7.0 at 4 pm. Feeling tired and lil weak today, but will try to do a light cardio workout. BM back to normal colors. Type 2-3. Puffy under the eyes again today. Need to find a rebounder or substitute.  This afternoon I am extremely stressed about Freeman and our money situation,  us moving, not really having a wedding plan and him possibly leaving me here. I just want to end it all. I am hating my life now. Evening had more crawling beginning at clients house from 5 pm til bedtime. Once again I ate badly w sugar today at work. No refined sugar, but I just now had whole wheat flour (pretzels and goldfish) at my clients. 11 pm crawling Belly, arms and feet mostly; other areas crawling intermittently. Why does the crawling all seem to go to my belly first? What is in this belly?! Did I infect myself there first? I do remember early on it was always my feet that I felt major crawling and like a ticking/twitching like as if something was pushing out of them - or going to actually come out of my foot!! After work, I began at 13 drops of MMS. I feel extremely ill. My stomach pain is pretty intense right now after taking it! I feel like I have hardcore cramps. This extreme GI pain has happened exactly 3 times now since contracting this illness.

NOVEMBER  (was worse eating!)
11/3/14
B: Chia pudding w stevia, 1/2 Vegan gluten free Pumpkin muffin
D: almonds ( whole bag), Blaze- Gfree pizza 11" personal w/ Spinach, Blk Olives, Sugar free Tom sauce
S: 2 C vegan chili w peppers/onion, 1 Choc chip cookie, S: almonds

Symptoms: light crawling on back, neck, stomach. Extreme Pain in left side of belly for 3 hrs! Ate too much pizza or almonds!! Light Headache.

11/4
B: hb egg, 1/2 c Br cereal puffs gf/sf, Coco milk, Sausage stew soup w green veggies
L: salad w veg and lemon,evoo avocado dressing, 1/3 Salmon, Avocado mint ice cream w stevia
S: Lemon ginger tea, 1 Celery stem
D: curried lentils, Purely Elizabeth 1/4 c ancient grains w/ Buckwheat, millet, amaranth w flax, 1/4 c coco milk
Vega protein drink- 8 oz, 1 tbs dried nuts and fruit

Symfptoms: crawling during the day on back, stomach and shoulders and feet. Bumps on scalp. Biting in crotch. heavy oot crawling in/after shower.

11/6/14
B: eggs
L: salad mixed w dressing, Blk bean chips, 1/4 c Yogurt w granola n cranberry, Cheesecake Pumpkin cookie (1/2!)
Aged cheddar puffs (3)
D: beans, Chicken/Steak cilantro

Symptoms: strong heavy crawling feel on belly, arms, face tickle, legs. 

11/7/14
B: Deviled eggs, Granola w cran 1 tbsp, Greens drink 8oz, Turkey Meatloaf 2 pc, Tuna/cucumber mayo roll
Tortilla chips 2 c! , Gummy bear (1 bear)
D: Squash 1 c/Zucchini 1 c Broccoli 1 c veg medley, Onions, Lemon water

Symptoms: light crawling feeling on belly, arms, face tickle, legs. Good BM. Brown, soft. Good energy.

11/8 (forget stupid diet! I Give up!)
B: 1 jack in the box croissant, Cheese, Ham, Orange juice
S: Marys gone crackers sf/gfree
D: blaze gf pizZa w sugar free sauce vegan cheez spinach n pepperoni
S: "Vegan" oatmeal cookie, "Vegan Ice cream", 3 Vegan 1" truffle balls

Symptoms. HEAVY NIGHT CRAWLING Light Burning skin. Itchy ears. Itchy red bites/bumps. No BM.

11/9 - (not on diet anymore yay)
B: asparagus, Dressing, Marys gone sf/gfree crackers, Lentil soup
D: blaze pizza gluten free, Sf tom sauce, W/ cheese (dairy), BBQ sauce
1/4 Kale, greens and gf pasta pesto bowl

Symptoms: Heavier day time and morning crawling, skin burning hard throughout day, red rashes, 5 bite/pimple on back of head. Oh crap, I dont know if this is cuz off diet, its getting back again!

11/10 ( ugh, back on diet)
B: 2 eggs, Pesto and greens bowl (w no pasta), 1/2 Italian sausage
S: tea rooibos
L: mixed salad, Squash "pasta" w pesto and greens (w no pasta) 1/4 tsp tomato sauce
D: cauliflower piccata, Roasted asparagus
S: raw almonds (20)

Symptoms: body is going nuts.

11/11 /14
B: 2 eggs w italian veggie medley
L: coco chicken 2 pc, squash and steamed Broc, Spinach pesto sauce (spinach, evoo, pine nuts, vegan sf cheez, salt)
S: 1/4 of vegan 1" truffle ball (cinnamon)
D: mixed salad, Cucumber/tomatoes

11/12
B: Hb egg, Green tea w stevia, Kale sautéed
S: 2 raw cookies :'( why do I do this to myself?) 5 cookies choc chip :'(
L: zucchini w Tom sauce, Hot dog  (omg :( )

11/13
B: Hb egg -  2, Granola 1/3 c, Vegan truffle 1/4
L: Mixed spinach w iceberg, Coco Chicken (2), 
S: (at work) 1-2 c tortilla corn chips :(
2-3 c graham crackers chocolate :(
2 pumpkin pie cheescake cookies :(
1/2 choc chip cookie :(
4 fruit gummies
D: Ice cream vegan - 1-2 tbsp

Symptoms: night was heavy extreme crawling and biting on legs, feet, face, belly. It IS the damn food. I have to quit but dont know how?! I need help!

11/14 (try no sugar again today!)
B: 2 hb eggs
L: subway tuna salad (spinach, tuna, blk olives, lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes)  NO Subway DRESSING, no Subway BREAD.
S: 1/2 serving Coconut 1.5g yogurt w 3 tsp nuts (walnuts, almonds, sun seeds), 10 raw almonds, 1/4 c blueberries
D: 1/2 breast chicken w/ thyme n lemon, and 1/4 c pesto sauce, Zucchini, 1 Raw vegan cookie
Green tea

Symptoms: Immediate crawling (felt in car) possibly coyo or blueberries? Or yesterdays? Crawling on stomach and feet 4:30-6:30. Hcavy Crawling stinging rashes at night in and after showering. Ugh. 

Back on Magnifizyme, Candida Rid and Olive Leaf today. Btemp at 11 am was 95.9. PH was 6.5, BTemp at 6 pm was 96.9. PH at 9 pm was 7.0. Crawling randomly throughout the day again - belly and feet. Itching bites still on neck - still itching a lot its almost impossible not to scratch. Sprayed myself with MMS then showered and used Kleen Green and just put clothing on top of it. Used MMS in my shoes when I felt crawling in the car - stopped. Some increasing and decreasing random GI pains throughout the day today. Increasing heavy night crawling and felt a burning on my chest sensation. A new unusual symptom. Lots more specks. The burn hurt a bit more than the ones I sometimes get on my burning hands.

What do Master Ip, Inside Out and Chronic Illness have in common?

I swear Lyme and Morgellons are  so EVIL. An evil that wants to take our hope, our faith, and our joy!!

It wants to /tries to be the focus so we can not focus on God and His promise for us of eternal life in Christ. 

I can't even work I don't know what God expects from me. But...I'm leaving it in His hands. 

Also, making me sad is that I watched Ip Man last night. I realized  if I become dead broke/become homeless (a very possible reality now) I will likely starve to death due to not being able to tolerate simple foods like rice, potatoes, beans or corn...At least Master Ip could fight /martial arts for RICE for feeding him and his family! He fought and applied all he had learned over the years and had even taught others to fight in attempting at overcoming the Japanese invasion/regime. 

Since the beginning of time, poor people everywhere have survived on the very foods/things I cannot eat and God still has not made me be able to tolerate the most basic & natural of foods! If I'm in jail or persecuted as a Christian, God forbid not even bread and water for sustaining me - as I can't even tolerate bread. This is SO sad to me. But today I'm not letting  it steal my joy; fine! I will eat lettuce til I die 😊 while praying for tolerance. 

Anyway, this illness is demonic, cuz it can steal our faith & joy.  It worked on me for the last 2 days, but I'm back "in the race" and "on track" once more!  At least these days it doesn't take me months and years to get "back on track." 

Which leads me to a situation I had and what I realized when I was playing Inside Out's movie app. It's a movie about the mental states of humans. Each emotion works with one another, and sometimes they don't. I downloaded it in December 2015. 

My health began to decline upon moving here. Week after week month after month, I was (in bed) climbing the ladders of the levels. Some boards were really stumping me and hard and others were a little easier reprieve, and still others I some days NEVER thought I would get through! I would sometimes be on the same board for like 2 weeks or a month! Just not being able to pass it. I'd be making mistakes, not being able to figure things out or have no clue how to beat the board!

Sometimes I would even get close to winning a board, but I would still lose.  For every couple of boards you get access to a new emotion - the ones that are in the movie. I would say probably every 25 to 30 boards you get a new

emotion and each emotion has its own special power for levels. 

So I had gotten up to level 155 out of 600 something boards. I was forced to update my iPhone, but then I got locked out of it cuz I had forgotten my passcode. Apples' idea is if you don't know your passcode then everything you have on your phone gets erased in order to "reset" the phone.

I also learned a valuable lesson not to ever care about anything that I ever put or keep on my phone as it can be lost anytime, but back to gaming. 

So when I was able to get back into my phone, I had to reinstall everything! And when I reinstalled Inside Out - it did not remember all my board data so I started back at level 1. 

On top of what I lost: pictures, memos, conversations, music, etc. - I also lost all 155 levels that I had "worked on" for the last 6 months!  All my progress, all my hours, days, weeks, months spent figuring things out for each board  - gone!  At first, I was extremely sad. 

I play Inside Out to help me to get my mind off my symptoms, off my body, sometimes. It helps me when I need to laugh or feel like I need to exercise/escape my mind in some way -  not by watching a movie, not by reading the Bible or learning, not being "productive" but just doing something while disabled feeling unproductive. 

So long as I have my hands (and I don't always have them), I can at least play Inside Out for a little bit when I'm stressed and get away from my thoughts. It also reminds me of my childhood, after school going to the candy store and playing video games and eating tons of candy til very late so that I didn't have to go home. That's probably how I got addicted to sugar too..?!

Anyway, I began all over again. 

I started playing the game again from level 1. But what God showed me pretty quickly was how long it took me. How long it took to get up to 155, how long to lose everything, how long to start back at 1 and how far to go. It took me A WEEK or more to pass levels 1 through 10 the first time! 

God said to me in that moment right there that my going up the ladder and through the levels is much much faster and easier when I already "know the route".

I already went through the suffering, through the frustration, through the agony of puzzling events, not being able to figure out those boards!! 

I already went through failing the board and then trying again and again.  

That reinstall was 2 days ago and I'm at level 53...I got from levels 1 to 10 in less than 30 minutes the second time. Why? 

Because as God showed me, I already went through it all - I knew the way, I have /had and played with the memory of what I did on boards previously, I had my "new" knowledge of the "future boards" that I had seen working my way all the way up to level 155 the first time, I was working with higher and learned new skills on these "lower levels" which were once so extremely difficult and frustrating. 

What once took me months to master, now takes me minutes/ hours to execute. I'm at level 55 and I now move through the levels so quickly as well as know what's ahead.

I'm not sure if there's a lesson there for you or me, but there probably is if we choose to see it.