It’s been quite some time since I posted. I see there are so many new people! Welcome! I was having a real hard time of it, so scared for so many days, sad and boy it was nightmarish! I am reading past posts and thinking of each of you daily. I hope you are all well this week or better than last at least. Listing some things I have come to see, things I am doing and thinking with this illness in the past month or so..
Message to me, yes me. You are on week 21 of protocol and week 17 of MMS. You did not quit! You are actually really on the protocol with being completely refined sugar/natural -sugar free for about 1- 2 months. Still, YOU GO girl! It seems a small step, but an important one to healing!
so... yeah.. where am I? I am officially on 17 drops and still no herx?! I am not upping the water amount of 8 oz either. It burns tremendously but I have no diarrhea or vomiting or fevers yet! Oddly.
2) Tracking/Symptoms: So my comparisons to those who started protocol a couple weeks ago and have no crawling at all after such a short time are not realistic and I have let that go completely. I am having crawling symptoms still randomly, stinging and burning but now really working even harder on the tightening up the diet to see if I see any crawling changes at all. I have now subscribed to eating the same foods daily. I have run into financial trouble and this really helps with cost cutting as well as knowing what I can add in and what I can’t. For me, the crawling is the most unbearable symptom! I am approaching this illness in the most scientific way I can (like Dr.s do for us). Documenting all (this is just a habit) tracking my meals, my PH (bet 6.5-7.25), body temperature (started out at 94-95.3, now I'm often in 96-97 range!), my digestion (# of BMs daily, color, Bristol type etc), my weight (went from 99 to now 110 lbs) and all related symptoms (light crawling, bites, pimpling, heavy burning, lots of fibers, fatigue etc.). My most prevalent the last 2 weeks are these red and brown “spots” on my skin increasing in number daily (all over my body). These are called liver spots or moles by others. I call them GET THE F OFF ME in Jesus Name – this body is healed! I really don’t know why I am getting so many of these every day…what they are or what it means but I CHOOSE not to get scared and instead CARRY ON with my pills and diet. As Peter mentioned, emotions are a large part of this illness for us, so I begun tracking my EMOTIONS because I have seen for me, that is where my illness is most prevalent and my symptoms get worse. Doing this is great for me, because I used to be a person to shove down my feelings or ignore them. I am working hard on DE-STRESSING in EVERY situation and when I am stressed practicing going directly to God's Word for comfort and also FORGIVENESS.
3) New Food: I am about 50% raw foods right now and greens juicing 2x weekly. My goal for next year is to hopefully be 75% raw! So what the hell am I eating then? Right? I am a Mixed Oxidizer/Balanced metabolism (according to John B.’s link on his page) so thanks to Peter’s documented diet; 8:30 Breakfast I have 2 egg whites w/ spinach OR kale, red onions, red peppers, 1/8-1/4 of an avocado, raw cucumbers, red radishes, w/ 1 tbsp olive oil OR a protein shake w cucumbers in evoo. 10:30 pill is a 1 tsp of coco oil w 1 tsp shredded coconut unsweetened and Rooibos OR Pau D Arco tea. 1:30 Lunch is a very large salad and 1/4 c almonds. This is about 3 cups of greens (kale, spinach, lettuce) with the same veggies of breakfast all raw and adding in zucchini, OR raw broccoli w 2 cloves raw garlic and 1’ raw ginger. (sometimes, 1/4 c quinoa OR 1 slice Ezekiel toast plain, if I can tolerate) My only dressing for anything is Goddess OR EVOO w salt/lemon. (a small version of this salad type is in the pic) 7:30 Dinner is usually the same size salad, same ingredients with 2 new veggies mixed in and a “raw soup” OR a cooked vegetable. OR a raw vegetable, and the salad OR 1-2 oz lean animal protein (3-4 x a week) and raw vegetable (Thank you Peter, Twiggy and Nicole for this advice to get me to this point!) Snacks throughout day are ¼ c nuts and variations of stevia filled protocol cookies, sunbutter w/ salt tbsp, or my newly found raw avocado-lime-stevia desserts. That’s it! If I am still hungry after any meal and it is not a specific snack time, MORE WATER, or a DISTRACTION – not food!! :) FOOD WILL NOT BE MY COMFORT! I RULE YOU STOMACH & MIND, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
I don’t know about you all, but, I actually HATED these foods before getting sick and even used to make fun of people who ate this way. With the exception of not being able to ever eat sweet potatoes, brown rice, I am basically eating like a body builder does. My "carbs" are just different.
4) Emotional Feedback: This illness IS going away. I can feel it, as can my loved ones who have said so. Thanks to you Mel! <3 <3 John’s amazing protocol and ULTIMATELY ALL GLORY TO GOD who is My true and LOVING Healer. Today, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for 2017-2018! I have a LOOOOOONNNNNNNG way to go on being even 90% but I am definitely seeing AND FOCUSING on progress even right now. I am NOT GOING BACK TO my OLD diet while waiting for the Lord to bring my healing and even when feeling “better”. I am STRENGTHENING my resolve TOWARD my CURRENT diet instead. Like Nicole and Twiggy say, there is no cheat day for us, this is a lifestyle. This is an illness, like Cancer. It can come back if you “feed” it, just like we did whatever to get to here. Just like Mel says in his awesome conference call, I want to “STAY well” and “not forget I was sick”, so going back to how I ate before will just not be a choice or option for me anymore. 5) Cleaning: Praise God on this! Guess what? Right now I have help from my fiancée and my friends with all the cleaning and washing clothes! I was really scared but I reached out talking to them about how I cant do it all alone and how long it takes etc. They are now helping by taking turns cleaning washing and helping me so that I can have time to be in the Word, lessen my load when I’m feeling weak or need to sleep extra. This is what true Christianity is all about. GOD’S LOVE within GOD’S FAMILY that others can see. That is what I hope to be able to give to others very soon. I also have moved from MMS to washing with KG, Borax and Odoban and I no longer take 2 hours for 1 load!
6) Body: I stopped looking for specks long ago so I am not sure if they are there. I do have an inordinate amount of “lint balls” on my clothing not easily ignored, but not my body. I have lint pieces on my body which I see after showering and usually blue and red strings lately on the tape. A picture of the fibers from me taping my body are below. I saw about 3-4 small specks of glitter recently so I imagine there are more coming out where that came from. And if we're talking detoxing all those metal, I likely have A LOT more months to go on protocol than the average healthy persons 18. I have a full mouth of metal/mercury and have been dying my hair since childhood! When I shower I use a nylon cloth and afterward I apply either nature rich cleanser (air dry) or spray my body with Kleen Gree/MMS (I alternate) letting it dry then oiling up an hour or two later. I randomly every other day also spray my whole head with MMS as well as my shoes.
7) New Habits Forming: This month and last I have been making sure to get at least 8-9 hours of sleep every night. Sometimes a nap in the daytime if I can swing it. Promptly getting in bed before the heavy crawling can start around 10:35-11:00pm! I am working out this month about 3-4 times a week with weights when I have energy. When I don’t its 2-3 x a week and I don’t kill myself, or I just go for a walk or stretch. I am sitting in the sun for at least 10 minutes a day even when I don’t feel well also. Upon the Word of the Lord this week I have taken to guarding my heart and my eyes. It came to me when I was watching Empire (eating a ton of almond butter w cinnamon and not counting the tbsps!)...a vision and real revelation. I can't substitute a healthy alternative in an unhealthy way; that makes it unhealthy. MODERATION! So on Empire, there are these characters- 1 guy is cheating on his wife. Another is scheming to run his father's company out of revenge. Another is a murderer. Another is showing me a greedy woman. Another one is a homosexual. Anyway, what am I doing here? If this were real life none of these people would be inheriting the kingdom I hope to someday be a part of. Harmless viewing though to get my mind off my illness, right? Just passing the time? BUT what exactly is watching or listening to this eliciting from me? Is this not what I am healing from? What am I watching? I realized I have to ask myself -- IS THIS ACTIVITY PROMOTING HEALING FOR ME? And No, it wasn't. I was stressed. It is a drama afterall and basically with spiritual eyes that read the Word its a drama about sinful people. Why would I watch sin or sin being celebrated - if I want to heal my body AND my mind? I noticed that I can't be working toward healing and just think in terms of taking the pills, cleaning the house, laundry and the anti candida/fungal diet.
It is MY LIFE here I'm healing. MY past CHOICES to self harm or just not care to eat bad for me foods. MY WORK environment. MY negative THOUGHT patterns. MY old BEHAVIORS. Men I choose to have IN MY LIFE. THESE are all in line with promotion of healing or not. Therefore, now, I am not engaging in things in terms of media that are negative, that remind me of my past, or are evil in God's eyes. Why would I? I am PROTECTING MY HAPPINESS and therefore, MY HEALING STATE. I hear a little robot somewhere saying "HEALING ON." Keeping the healing ONLINE, as Peter would say. I cannot be "like horse or mule with blinders on" to what the world wants to show me or wants for me to emulate. I am proclaiming Christ and need to live it. I see to get well, and stay well, I will need to be as selective "with my heart, ears and eyes" as I am being with my food. Matt 6:22-23, 2 Cor 6:14-18, Ps 32:8-9.
Love you and praying for all of you for strength, comfort, wisdom and love this week,
Shari
