To call it or not to call it?

Abuse? I thought I knew when to flee an abusive man by now. I have dated one too many of them. But the confusing part is this particular person does not match any of the prerequisites I have read or actually have experience with for a "jerk", that I can see.

He is generally honest, does not degrade me or put me down, always asks and cares how I am feeling, we talk things out when we are in disagreements or he is silent (" not to say anything he might regret") and takes time then talks about it, is often humble, hears me out when I am angry and venting, stays silent when I talk, pushes me gently to be/do my best, often praises me in front of others, helps me whenever I need it, takes responsibility for his actions, keeps his word, is caring, respectful and loving with his family and mine, gives me space when I need it, believes in God and yet does not try to or believe strongly in the legalistic "church" meaning of taking the "man of the household" role.

They have now healed but see the bruise images then know why I contemplate my dilemma..I found these and became concerned. It has been some time since I have seen a bruise on my body which caused me to think - is the guy showing the beginnings of (more of the same) abusive guys I have dated? Is someone with the above profile still actively being abusive and just giving nice words? Generally kind words don't accompany abusers-during abuse. Generally the actions never match the words with them. I really do not know, he just does not seem to fit the profile.

I have to say that I ask this because this guy is the only guy who touches me at all. I am not dating anyone else, I am not having sex anymore and he does not ever push me to do anything I dont want to. Doubly, confusing is that there are no bruises in the usual places for females-arms, neck, wrists, upper torso or back. Only that one left upper leg. I have no real recollection of him grabbing me so hard that it would bruise in three places on that leg and he does not touch me in that way, and yet there it is. Plain to see. Only one person could be responsible. Him.

I also have to say that I grew up rough and tumble someone from TX might say (abused is what it is, lol) and I do not normally notice or later remember when I hit myself on things or notice when I hurt myself (e. bumping into things, or hitting myself against an object) so I thought it may be that..but I am keeping an eye out.. and building and refreshing my awareness while I do not speak with him.

Comments please.

a Law of Seduction

I'm baaaaaaaack! Writing once again after yet another breakup. Another one gone due to my demands of better treatment. I just read the Law of Seduction and I know now that he will not return and if he does it will not be "seduced" or wanting to change his bad habits. I am not going to blame myself for his departure as he probably in the end would not have been worth the keep (too rough hands, too many reminders of daddy) but sadly, in the future, once he is gone I will actually begin to use these techniques to keep a future man. Seeing them as the book does, only as victims who can help me get where I want to be. Christianity aside, in my vast experience with people, these are the ways people actually do think they fall in love and I recognize the techniques in even my now ending but beginning of this relationship. My roommate Roy called it.