Today I am grateful for:
- being able to begin a relationship with GOD, as friend and love.
- having Karin as a true friend and in Christ
- having the self esteem to leave an "toxic" and verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive relationship (Chris)
- growing boundaries with strangers (I am so proud of myself of this lately!)
He had asked as I was reading, "You like Science? I said "No, and please I do not want to be interrupted in my reading, and instead of leaving me alone, he said, "Well, no one does. "So you like to read about technology? Why are you in this section?" At this continuation and disrespect of my request, I got up and walked away from him! At Scene 1! (see The Notebook entry for this reference)ME!?! I did that. =)
2) Then there was the karaoke incident when I firmly told the guy who had casually tried to put his arm around me"Do not ever touch me, you do not know me and I do not want you to touch me in any way" "You are a stranger, I am not your friend". In the past, because I was invaded, I would let anyone touch me, as if it were ok, not having knowledge or respect for my own body/person and not realizing I have a complete choice in who touches me, how, and who doesn't - FOREVER. I realize this is where I end, and you begin. There is a line. A boundary.
3) Then there was yesterday when I had visited with one of the girls for a hug and thought to myself "am I supposed to stay because they are being nice to me?" I realized to myself "No, I do not need to remain here as I would have in the past, out of an obligatory or approval seeking feeling. My "thank you" is either cherished as gratitude or it isn't. People are supposed to be nice to me. They have things to do, as do I. They either will be my friends or they won't. There is no rush. No approval seeking. (Recognizing the need for space of my own and recognizing if they don't appreciate my gratitude then I probably do not need to consider them as "friends" yet!)
- growing awareness of God's purpose for me
- eating/caring for myself with zest for Jesus
- Shawn McDonald songs/inspiration
- feeling safe in my home
- feeling someone is "listening"
- this back pain being a call to action and need for change
- books I own
- my computer
- a new feeling of "resentment" at people who treat me badly or try to control me (meaning its no longer "acceptable" or the "norm" :)
- being able to give to others in need
- my honesty
- my self will
- still being alive to witness the beauty around me
- my family
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