I am losing myself. I am losing my creativity and need to get it back. I need to leave LA for a bit to once again find myself. I am thinking OR, WA or NM.
I do not know what I want to do for my 3rd career run, but I need to try to step out in a direction, regardless of whether its the "perfect" path or not.
I feel so disconnected from everyone and everything. I give too much of myself and then I am really sad when I get nothing back. The best way to combat that is to lose expectations and keep in control of my emotions when I am feeling them the strongest. Next time when I like someone, I will purposely keep myself away from them instead of trying to draw them near. As long as I think they arent into me, I wont fuck it up for myself. I think I am going to try to practice that for the next year. I must not let the way I feel about someone cloud my judgement of who they are truly and what they are giving.
I am going to take 15 minutes tonight to play the guitar. FOR FUN. We will see just how fun it is for me and if I truly still enjoy it. I cannot let this creative part of me die! It is a part of me that I need to recognize though perhaps in not the same way I once did in NYC.
No comments:
Post a Comment