Tuesday, April 21, 2015

My first MMS bath and a bathing experience

I have recently taken my first bath as I have just hit the 6 month mark, though I cheated, so technically I have just hit the 3rd month of beginning healing mark (I am on the protocol itself though for 6 months). I am behind in my healing because of backsliding with sugar - repeatedly. I still have crawling, specks and fibers, which this week seemed to be coming out a lot more. I have had MANY more headaches these last 2 weeks as well. I am at my maintenance dose of 20 drops MMS.

Once beginning my max dose I immediately had set out to begin taking the baths. However, I have no bathtub. So I posted on social media begging for the use of a bathtub from anyone, anywhere. I finally got one. I have to say I was extremely nervous after someone finally said yes, I could use their bathtub. All kinds of new thoughts went through my mind. MAINLY “Ok, well what will I see? What is it going to FEEL like? What do I do now?” and “How do I protect them from me?” Thankfully I was able to reach out on my Whatsapp to friends. They were kind and walked me through it gently and with encouragement. “Take 20:20 drops MMS in the bath water." "Warm, hot, whatever is OK." "Just relax." "Try to stay in there longer than a normal bath and just let it flow.” “Don’t be afraid, you GOT THIS!” they had told me. “You are a warrior and a badass” they reminded me.

Since I have a bug phobia and I am already often afraid with bugs in my house AND M, it was an EXTREMELY SCARY idea for me to even get INTO the bath. However, my need for continuing consistently on protocol and really wanting these things out of me, I took the plunge. Now I see WHY 6 months or max MMS dose is definitely the time to begin MMS bathing! I got my things ready while texting and asking their advice. All the while FREAKING the hell OUT! As I rode in the car to her house, I was feeling so nervous. I realized I have not been this nervous in A VERY LONG TIME. I was afraid and started thinking of all I could see. What could happen to me in the bath? Maybe I shouldn't do this? Then something inside me welled up and clicked. "NO!" Just as I was not going to blame the Lord for my ailment, and made the switch to instead lean on His promises to heal me, I also decided in that moment I was not going to be afraid and let the enemy win! I have “NOT been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and of a sound mind!” 2 Tim 1:7 "NO, ENEMY LIES!" It is like a muscle I believe I am building to fight against the enemy, albeit very slowly...

I played a instrumental in my car that I am having a hard time working on and finding a melody to and started recording. It was insane! Words suddenly began to flow out of me. My intense nervousness and all my fear! I will sing about it! I just expressed it all right there in the car. Remembering the Word. All the fear and yet, the knowledge that I am a “conqueror”. The Word says I am EVEN “MORE THAN a conqueror” through He who saves. Romans 8:31-39. I am EVEN MORE! If God, is for me, what the hell can this do to me? No. I will not be afraid. I started singing “I am a conqueror!”. It felt good. I kept on going with lyrics just flowing; singing in my car loudly all the way to the bathtub.

I picked up my fiancee from work (I wanted him to document everything that would come out, if anything) said my hellos and made a bee line for the bathroom. Once inside I put on my meditation app and had put the 20:20 MMS mix in the cup just like I was informed. Let it mix. It smelled bad, but I think I am getting used to the smell a little more. I made the bath warm and poured it in after a couple minutes. Then I just... closed my eyes. I made sure the entire time to keep my eyes closed. In my heads and thoughts I was imagining terrible things coming out and I would just refocus - - to the Lord, to my breath, and to being in the moment of “cleansing my temple” as Twiggy said. I felt pricks and some sharp stings but stayed in and kept my eyes closed.

Toward the end of the bath, were two VERY odd and uncomfortable feelings, in my back. I felt something go up my back (not down) and then a suction on my body. Kinda like the way you feel suction when you open your bathing suit in a pool/jacuzzi and let the water in and then let it out. I still remained with my eyes closed. I had my fiancee film the entire bath and capture any snapshot of what he may see. Some he did not want to tell me about, but just said “red things” “black things” etc. He doesn’t want to scare me. He just said "yep, it's working. These are like mine". After his came out of him months ago, he has no more crawlies or stings.

At the end of 40 minutes in the bathtub, the timer went off and I got up, with closed eyes I high-fived my fiancee that I made it through the bath and I stepped out. When I was out of the bath the little science nerd/documenter in me became curious to see what was inside. My fiancee had begun to empty it and I stopped him. I took a look with a flashlight. Where I was laying in the direction of where my back was to the tub there were 2 strange very long black haired things floating and around it were 3 shiny ameoba-- like things either attached or just near it. Having been a lover of Oceanography and my Biology classes, I recognized these shapes and recalled the beauty of looking at them through the microscope. For a minute I thought "wow, how beautiful."

Then I remembered that I was not looking at something from afar. That came out of me & possibly out of my back! I also saw a thick black hairy wiry thing as well floating on the other side of the tub where my feet were and there was one lone plankton/amoeba looking organism without the long hair thing there as well. However, my awe changed to sadness that these things came from my body so I was not feeling particularly inspired. :( I then read the messages from everyone asking how it went and letting me know that they admired how far I have come. This was so wonderful to read. Thank you! I stopped for a moment to think about this and take it in. Yes! How far have I come?! I mean, I would NEVER have even considered doing this before. I would have been too afraid.

I oiled myself up and put my clothes on. I felt clean. I cleaned my friends tub and bathroom and then walked out to the living room. I kissed my friends and thanked them profusely for their generosity. How kind of them to do that for me.

My first MMS bath was a success! Not so much in terms of purge (I don’t consider my 4 things coming out, out of millions that could be in there to be “successful purging") but emotionally, wow, I really was able to overcome! I was a conqueror and an overcomer of my FEAR! I had my eyes closed. “BETTER OUT THAN IN”, I keep reminding myself. I believe I will be able to at some point even open these eyes in the bath!

The more time that goes by and the more that I see I realize and now I know that I really DO want these Morgys OUT! I’m reminded by Julian of Norwich’s written experience (a Catholic) with sorrow and joy. God is doing some things in my life right now not healing me yet, that I may not even be able to fully grasp, but I can kind of see them when I look really hard with a totally open mind.

Yesterday I went by MYSELF to take a bath. I did see some more very strange looking things that I just were not sure what the hell they were but, I continued to try to keep my eyes closed til the timer went off and give the fear and anxiety to God and just be still. While in the bath God I believe the Father was speaking to very gently. He told me not to be afraid. He said that he is protecting me and he will heal me, but not just yet. He is still working on me through this. He asked me if I believe if I was in perfect health would I have changed as much as I have, and I honestly had to admit that I would not have. He said do I expect to live through this life and never suffer or for anyone to have any pain? He said he is building patience in me through this, and that he sees what I cannot, I will need a lot more patience in the future. He said that I am his little child and he will care for me. He will bless me going and coming out. I kept looking at the timer. It was hot and I felt pinched breathing. He said that just as I count the 40 minutes timer down the end of this bath, he counts the minutes of MY LIFE and everyone's. Every minute He is with me. He cares for each minute, He said. He said when I die I will also count the minutes just like this and I will be with Him. He said nothing can take me from Him. He loves me.

These damn red spot/bites! My back is looking better in terms of muscle though.

Whats in my fridge

Strange things in the bath.
Little ameoba like pieces.

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