What on earth to do about it? He is in questioning mode and unsure. I am going to try this. You are probably wondering what to do when he pulls away if talking to him won't work. The best thing you can do is let him. Perhaps you are old enough to remember the song by 38 special called "Hold on Loosely". The lyrics are "hold and loosely and don't let go. If you cling to tightly, your gonna lose control". Nothing could be closer to the truth. Think of the boy running on the playground. He keeps running as long as you chase, but stop chasing, he looks over his shoulder, takes notice and stops running. http://www.squidoo.com/men-pulling-away Yours (or mine) may not stop running but also and this is important you are no longer chasing. What this tells him is that you are capable of being happy or carrying on with or without him and it takes some of the pressure off and makes him feel safer. The ability to give a man his space speaks volumes of your own confidence and confidence is a turn on. It also tells him perhaps he doesn't have the hold on you he thought he had. It offers up a challenge. Men do love a challenge. It's a way of turning the tables. Why should he hold all the power in the relationship? The power should be balanced and this action helps put it into a balance so to speak. It tells him he doesn't have the full dictatorship of the relationship. Another thing of giving him his space without chasing after him accomplishes is this. It shows you have self control. This is very very attractive to men and it's a quality that most look for when looking for a long term relationship. He wants to know you can hold you on and not fall apart. If you whine and plead with him to tell you what's wrong, it's a loss of self control. Not good. He may see you as a drama queen as opposed to the controlled woman he wants by his side for the long haul. Also when you give him his space when he pulls away, after some time, he may begin to crave the connection again. This is when he will move in your direction and be open and willing to talk about why he pulled away. Push him before he is ready and you won't get the truth.
So what do you do when he pulls away? Let him, and go on about your life in the meantime.
Try the following 1 Find something to do! Don't just sit around moping. You're an amazing person and you deserve to have fun. Throw a party, go see a movie, buy a new lip gloss, read my article about how to get over a crush...but seriously, do something to remind yourself how cute and fun you are. 2 Cry if you want to. It's ok. Seriously, he just basically told you to get away from him. You have every right to feel sad and confused, but just don't spend too much time focusing on the bad. Plus...it might not be so bad! Identify your feelings, but don't dwell on them. Is he crying over you? Maybe, but probably not. So don't waste too many of your tears. 3 Smile and be happy when you are around him (and even when you are not). You're never fully dressed without a smile. Even if you feel like you're going to cry, you have to look like you're having the time of your life. He'll expect you to be really upset, and it will make him feel completely shocked if you act like his request for 'space' didn't bother you at all. Your world is not shattered because he wants "space". For all he knows, you were feeling a little smothered in the relationship too. So, you just keep living your life, and if it's supposed to work out, it will. But if not, there's something better in store for you. So get excited for what the future holds!
Ready for a possible breakup but DO NOT let on!
Sign He is Losing Interest Men do lose interest. It's a fact. Men can get bored and when they do, they start wondering if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. There are signs that a man is losing interest and if you are seeing these signs, take action now before he decides to mow the lawn of another. 1. His calls and texts are less frequent. If you notice a change in his calling or texting pattern, your boyfriend is losing interests. A man wants to stay in touch with the woman he loves and his patterns will not change. If you feel his calls are out of obligation this is another clue. 2. He starts making plans without you. Maybe a weekend trip with his buddies. If he usually wants to spend most of the weekend with you and now there are other things he wants to fit in, he is working you out of the priority seat slowly but surely this is one of the signs he has lost some interest and is expanding and moving into the differentiating phase of the relationship stages. 3. If when you address any issues or your feelings of him disappearing, he gets defensive or reacts negatively. If a man is thinking of leaving, he will not be comfortable more times than not by offering you reassurance. He will feel guilt which causes one to get defensive. If he defends his change of actions, your boyfriend is losing interest. 4. He says he needs some space. Watch out if you hear this one. The end is near more times than not. If a man says he needs space, he is feeling smothered. Smothered men do not thrive in a relationship ever. The harder you hold on to a man who says he needs space, the further you will push him away. 5. If your boyfriend starts to become distracted with work or some other project, he may be losing interest and this is only an excuse to postpone the inevitable. Men that suddenly become preoccupied with something else often use this as a way to prolong the break up. If your boyfriend is losing interest, the way you respond to this is critical to prevent a break up. If you push him, or put pressure on him, he will see you as needy and less attractive. You can stop a break up or you can insure it happens, it's all up to you and the steps you take or don't take. Don't be one of the many women who wonder why he disappeared.
This is how he is supposed to be acting with you.
He calls for no particular reason other than to share stories about his day and ask about yours. 2 He makes plans to see you again. It is not enough for him to allude vaguely to the future, about something you might maybe do sometime together. If a guy wants you in his life, he will make specific plans to see you again. 3 He pays attention when you talk. His eyes are focused on you. He doesn't look around the room. He doesn't lose interest. You have the feeling as though he is hanging on your every word. 4 He introduces you to his friends. It's plain and simple: if a guy is excited about you, he will be excited to show you off to his friends. 5 He wants to meet your friends. And when he does, it is obvious that he wants to make a good impression. 6 He touches you in ways that have nothing to do with sex. He holds your hand, he kisses your forehead, he plays with your hair, he pulls you close. 7 He changes his Facebook status from "Single" to "In a relationship" without you having to ask about it. 8 He is there when you need something. Your car breaks down; he acts as your chauffeur for the week. A mouse occupies your house; he gets rid of it. You get sick; he brings you soup. 9 He does what he says he will do. Another obvious indicator: when he says he's going to do something, he does it. 10 When you hit bumps on your relationship road, he communicates easily, openly and without arguing. He doesn't get mad or withdrawn when you want to discuss your feelings or concerns about the relationship.
