I see who I am today and I love her.

I might get flack for this, but I am amazing and here's why I feel this way and finally KNOW this! I'm truly proud of myself! Today I have had a eye opening day of seeing where I have come from to where I am, (not just physically) and I am a strong ass FIGHTER. 

I AM a survivor who is now learning to thrive. You know who I was? I was an abused child, with a drug/alcohol addict who had no idea how to love, a mother with no self esteem, a "loser" in school, was bullied, raped, and I I was suicidal and homeless by the age of 13. 

I later became a drug addict/alcoholic who dated only abusive people and through all those years I thought all of the bad treatment, the pain, the intense self-hatred, the lack of success in my life I suffered was "normal". I looked back today and it is incredible how much I have struggled and by all accounts should be dead, but I'm not! 

First I got myself off the streets. I quit drugs. Then I quit alcohol. Then I started learning that normal guys don't hurt women or see them as sexual objects, & I stopped dating abusive men. I raised myself to have self esteem and learned what it meant. 

Then I freaking quit smoking! Now I am quitting sugar, successfully. Honestly, it was sooo hard to quit all these things AT FIRST!  It was so hard to come to terms with needing to change, but it CAN be done. Step by baby step at a time! One week turns into two which can turn into months! 

One good choice exercised turns into two and so on! This is our fitness journey as well! And baby steps are, one workout, one meal choice at a time. 

Most people are born at normal and generally, safe. I came from nothing and see today that I have fought my way PAST "normal". I will never be normal. Today I am better. I've gone from a life of fear and danger to safety, from hatred /strife to love, emotional poverty to millionaire status. I'm aware. I'm knowledgeable. 

I've lived through things "normal" girls will never ever understand; and I WON! Hell, I'm superhuman! Now I'm battling this illness and trying to get fit and I will WIN! 

I have you, and we have love. I have changed who I was and my whole life has changed course with the grace of God in it. If I can do it with nothing, so can you! :) 

Let's be FIGHTERS! Let's THRIVE!