Reminder - 60 days

I have told him he may come to my church. His actions are so LOUD. I give it a 10:3 and I'm not gonna say of which to which, because I already know what I mean.

Any way, below is actually a direct repost from March with some new things added, as he has not changed any of these thing since then,(with the exception for doing very well at moving on and leaving me alone as I requested), it is always helpful to review things...Here we go..

"It is giving me time to see that Chris has a lot of problems that I should not and cannot and will not deal with any longer. One is his addiction to weed. Two is his abusiveness and tendency to abuse not only me, but himself. Three is his demonstrated lack of respect for morals like thou shall not steal or thou shall not lie and his refusal to accept responsibility for things he does and also pay people back. Four is his, more apparent now than before, vengeful nature.

And what about me? What are my problems? One is my inability to be alone (which I think this breakup will remedy) two is my need to be compliant/accepted and make things ok, three is my fear of abandonment and mistrust. Four is my negative thoughts that plague me. Five is my codependent tendency and anger management issues.

The difference in mine and Chris's problems is that his land him in jail, poverty, debt, and finally death whereas mine can land me only in death by another's' hand should I allow this to continue. I seem to want to keep counting. I can count the ways that I will be better off without being in a relationship with Chris."

0) Since he is not going back to Dr. Adams or trying to quit weed, I know that this is a lost battle.
1) I will no longer worry about whether or not he is getting/will be/high and therefore treat me badly.
2) I will not have to think about his lack of calling me, not wanting to see me, and not sending me emails or showing he cares in little ways.
3) I will not feel like I am the only one working on the relationship - always bringing up the issues and asking to work on them.
4) I will see that this abuse has never stopped completely only halted temporarily and would be the same in the future.
5) I will be able to recognize his and my faults after time has passed.
6) I will see him as I see Brandon, someone I would never again want to be with and who did not deserve me and I am so much better off!
7) I will be free to learn from these mistakes without the "cloud" of love in the way.
8) I will not have anyone to go to for approval and then be sad when I do not get it because they always want "space".
9) I will not have anyone to try to "talk to and be heard" just have that person completely blow me off to do their own thing or just not listen to me as I talk.
10) I will have my own problems to deal with alone.
11) I will be forced to look at myself objectively and spend time with myself alone.
12) I will be forced to learn what I like, what I want, and what I can do by myself.
13) No more yeast infections!
14) No more messy room and hairy...everything---to have sex in!
15) No more stress of wondering, waiting, wanting and wishing about/for him to love me, to be "different" or to be kind and gentle.
16) No more of his cop-out "well, we have to just try harder""let's just see what happens" response to how we are gonna fix our problems!
17) There are no more "problems" to fix.
18) No more Nice guy/Bad guy to deal with -- Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde.
19) No more cheating and lying from him to believe in.

"He needs a pen pal, a phone buddy, a fuck buddy a something other than a real giving, caring, competent, sober, loving relationship with YOU.

A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves. If hes not calling you to tell you he loves and wants you it should only be because he has showed up at your new residence to do it in person sincerely. If he's not trying to romance your socks off with dates, flowers, sincere poetry/songs, it should only be because he's too engrossed in his couples counseling workbooks and is prioritizing getting himself back on the right track WITH YOU. He knows what you want, you have already told him many times, if he hasn't done it by now .. its because HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.

If he's not doing any of that, he may "love you", he may "miss you", but ultimately he doesn't AND HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. Find someone who really is THAT INTO YOU."

The reason he "misses you" is because he is choosing every day to be without you. He is choosing to NOT be with YOU. He should miss YOU. YOU are deeply missable. :)

He is sniffing for something better and when he doesn't find it, he gets lonely and comes back to you. Its not that he's into you though he may say it is, its that he is NOT so into being alone sometimes.

Hes just not that into you if:
He's not asking you out
He's not calling you
He's not dating you
He's not having or wanting to have sex with you
He's having sex with someone else
He's only wants to see you when he is drunk or high
He's doesn't want to marry you
He's breaking up with you
He's disappeared on you
He's emotionally unavailable(already married or insane variations on this unavailability)
He's a Selfish Jerk, a Bully or a Really Big Freak