Here goes:
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
------------
Wow. How things change. Reason, a season or a lifetime. I wish he was a lifetime, alas I guess it was a reason? I have learned so much from him.

I was dishonest with him and now it is time to tell the truth because though I will lose him and he will never be mine again, it is better he knows than that he does not know. I have been touting for years how I do not lie and how it is not ok to lie and yet the one thing I always lie about myself and have lied about is my age. It is unfair and hypocritical. Nightmares since last night, and to think how I cringed every time we discussed it or it came up in conversation.

My friend D says if its love it will be love regardless of age, age is truly nothing but a number and everything can be worked out if we really want to, but I know he isn’t going to want to be with me after I tell him. She says if he leaves because he knows my age then he wasn’t really going to stay anyway and would have found a reason to go eventually. Then there is his little 16 year old waiting for him at the end of his tunnel, hmmm? I am sure she will look that much better to him now. We were one another’s rebound I guess and now its time for me to fess up and decide where to go from here. I am so fucking hurt, but I guess I knew that going in didn’t I? I tried not to get involved, not to give in, and then once I did I tried so hard to make it all good, and all alright to tell myself that when I told him, it would all be ok, but it won’t. It isn’t. Rationalizing, that it didn’t matter yet because he was in RI and not here yet, right? Well now after I tell him, he is NEVER coming back to CA. Not for me, at least. I have lost him and his trust for good.

The thing I talked about with my surrogate parents and that thing I can’t get my head around this age thing is that if it wasn’t him, it will be/would have been someone else. My pool of candidates is in a diff age range. I mean realistically there is Chris in SD, Vince, Jon, Joey, Alex, Carlos, Sid, my roommates, I mean the list goes on and on. I only know younger guys and girls! All the girls I know and are close to are younger than me also. Every single one of them is in their early 20’s. Everyone I talk to is younger than me by like 10-17 years. Why is this and why am I am attracted to younger guys and is this really such a bad thing? I have great passion, great knowledge and great love. I am sensual, sexual and generally want to be free to do as I please. I do not have the hang-ups or conditions that older people seem to have. I don’t have traditional views of marriage and children and I like to have fun. I love music, video games and dancing. Wtf? Of course I am going to attract younger guys and they me. I guess just happen to think younger and be into things that younger people are into, always. Immature and all that….

Guys my age or older.. hmm. I don’t like their bellies, their missing hair and their haughty male privilege attitudes. I have been dating younger guys my whole life, I have been hanging out with girls and guys younger than me forever! Truth is, though I will be mourning us and the loss of him, experience tells me I will probably at some point meet another guy the same age, have those flittering butterflies and be running through the streets naked and making out on top of a monument somewhere and he will want me
too. Let’s take a look back in time shall we?

35 - 20
32 - 22
30 - 20
27 - 21
25 - 19
21 - 18
16 - 14

Idk what to say. I am young at heart and I do not and have never looked or felt my own age. Though this has been great it’s also a curse of sorts. Well, I’m going to tell him and get over losing him already. Its better now than later.