Reflecting

This week I am reflecting on my mistakes within my last relationship and looking at my actions, beliefs and behaviors.

I think it is important to feel all the unresolved feelings, say all the unresolved things that needed to be said (not actually to Chris, of course) and witness your own faults in why something unfolds the way it does.

Good times. With that my self care for this week...

What is my final decisions on Chris that I still need to stick to for my own safety and mental clarity?
• We are over and he is entitled to move on (not me get angry, tease him, or speak to him at all, either). He does not want to be in a relationship like the one we had and neither do I. I don’t really want to be with someone who could not be attentive, faithful to me or nice consistently, often didn’t want to see me/spend time and that I argued with. I deserve God’s man for me, end of story.
• I need to keep no contact with him.
• I need to time with me, learning about myself & doing God’s will.
• I need to realize I am NOT READY for a relationship WITH ANYONE.
• I need to use firm boundaries and be consistent in my behavior, actions & words.
• I need to see actions back up words. I need to build trust in myself over the next 6 months, even for a solid friendship with someone.

What can i or could I have controlled with Chris? Nothing. I CANNOT control Chris. I cannot control him, his thoughts, words or his actions, or his reasons at all.

• I can control the amount of time I choose to spend on him, how I will handle the situation.
• I can control my own thoughts, actions, words.

THINGS I CAN DO FOR MY SELF CARE
• Study for class
• I can recognize what I feel and feel the temp feelings I have and nurture myself through it
• I can go out with friends/self
• I can volunteer / work / be creative with my time
• I can eat well and exercise to fight any depression or emotional stagnation
• I can pray to/talk to God and Jesus for strength when I am feeling lonely / sad
• Take care of myself and my own issues
• Attend my meetings
• Stay away from unhealthy others and situations-GO COLD TURKEY

When I want to call him/IM him/email him I will instead:
• A family member
• Someone from church
• Another random guy in my phone