Last night I was afraid of stalking or the possibility that someone was going to try to hurt me. I spent the entire day concerned of this. Watching those videos of hi tech surveillance did NOT help. So this morning I woke up and said to myself, I am not going to stop living my life in fear of someone killing me. I am not going to think this way and I basically prayed to God and gave it over to him.
I am still alive and Chris (apparently not thinking of me at all, thank god he too is as selfish as Brandon) is not stalking me. His emailing has ceased since yesterday and there are still no calls since 4/1/08. :) Back to the 60 days focus.
Back to my healing. This incident was a lesson in exactly why I should not ever go back to that terrible relationship. It does not FEEL good. Love should feel good. Love should be safe and honest. I have much work to do on myself and my past.
Today I am thankful for:
- God's protection and love
- taking care of myself
- Karin
- Sandra/Tia - my neighbors
- Medical care
- the IRS giving me something back however small
- being able to pay this months rent
- finding out I don't "need" the car
- being able to walk
- having food to eat
- learning about boundaries
- trying not to make previous mistakes
- a place to lay my head
- my family
- my friends
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