Argh! The bills are piling in strong. Getting close to January 30th - time to move but where?! I can do this alone. I just have to trust in God and that there will be provisions.
I have decided no matter how desperate I get I am worth being loved and appreciated and no matter how badly I need a car, or money or whatever, I deserve for someone to treat me well and kindly all the time, not just when they want something. I deserve to be around adults and people emotionally capable of being honest with themselves and me.
Whoa I have a bit to say on this.. more on this after my massage and seeing another apt!
Ok so yeah... doing my best to forgive and forget and act with kindness. I want to write some things I am grateful for but today is not the day. Instead, I want to pray and ask those who know me to ask for prayer (whether you believe in God or not!) to God that I am not impregnated and have to pay for my stupid sex mistake with that guy for the rest of my life. I would hate to have a child grow up not ever knowing their father, but it would be the best way. Either way, I am going to pray every day til next month, that I am not pregnant by that guy and ask for forgiveness in being impulsive and foolish and taken in once more by words, of lies...
Please pray for me, whether or not you know me, whether or not you believe in God. Please pray.
In other news, I did a stint at a flying school. Wow, I think when I can I am going to try to get a pilot license. I saw someone with glasses and they were getting their commercial license. It was very cool watching and meeting the other pilots. It was not very cool doing the actual job. But I bit the bullet, decided I would make the best of it, and I did!
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