"Alone also means available for someone outstanding."
This is my new perception of being alone. Chris had said "you know, make sure this is what you want, I dont want to you to..don't try to come back crying to me in 3 days and saying you want to work things out". "Don't cross the line S of us never having the possibility of getting back together." "We are getting close to that line." "Why don't u come over and fuck me instead..and let's work on our problems" "You want a massage?" Yeah, he sounds real sincere and serious and caring. He really thinks I am that desperate AND stupid.
I am not crossing a line, Chris. I am beginning a new. I am starting over with my dignity and self esteem intact. Meeting with the girls tonight made me see how wrong Chris and I are for each other at this time. Chris has no morals right now, no willingness to change or see how he can improve, no desire for true love. He is only interested in manipulating me, and into having me thinking he is not wrong for what he did and that he "did not mean it" so he can put his own conscience to rest.
"Don't think of it as a path of a breakup or forever. "Just for right now". Just for today. One day at a time. Think of caring for myself today. Of what I want, think and need today. One day at a time."
"It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken".
They said "you are not alone anymore, you have us" and this is about taking care of you, and putting yourself in a position where you can get through this really tough time with some measure of ease. "You are injured, you're jobless, you have had these issues with your boyfriend, and now.. you are starting over. That is a lot to deal with in one shot!" He loved you at one time, he isn't loving you now. Take time." "Talk about it, to everyone!" "Don't hide your feelings or the pain." Do not be worrying about him, what he thinks, what he has said or hasn't said. He is a controller who saw himself having less and less control over you. If that is what he did to you over going surfing and a glass bottle you broke, imagine what else he is capable of? He has stolen from his company, he has lied to you and others, and now he has hurt you physically...and is denying it. You are worth more than what he thinks you are.
60 days. 1,440 hours, 86,400 minutes, lots and lots and lots of seconds, or whatever you want to call it. He said I can't add. I don't know Math. Well, whatever!
"Try and think of it this way: You're giving the time you were spending on him back to yourself as a gift, and he'll get none of it for at least two months while you set up shop as the new you."
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