30 days almost!

I love this poem. It sums up how I feel today.

After Awhile
After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn that love doesn't mean possession and company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build your roads today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.

After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn.....
-Veronica Shoffstall

I went to the Dr. today and began my first of 3 treatments on the DRX and physical therapy. I hope to be working by next week and continuing strong in my current path.

I am wildly impressed and proud of myself. I have gone almost 24 days without speaking to Chris! Who would have thought I could do that? Not me, looking back I remember how harsh I was with him when he had wanted to spend even just 3 days to himself. Of course, he was also cheating and I couldn't trust him, but with someone else, I have learned through this that I will be able to give that person time in the future as well as request my own time away and relish it for them AND for me.

I have realized that was a mistake on my part. I don't think I thought I was really capable of being alone, until now. I am learning that I can, and that I will still live. LOL. That it is really preferable in the relationship for the long term, to be able to spend a lot of time apart-doing your own things.

For a girl who couldn't have 3 days away from her bf without hearing from him at all, I have come a LONG way. I can do this. I can do another 30 days and another! It is HARD, but it is a lesson and a challenge and it's one thing I do for myself every day that keeps me in relational health and in Chris's case, alive.