to son? I talked to Che tonight about earlier today and I was able to get a lot off my chest. Che is cool to talk to.
I did realize something from talking to Che that I think I did not want to see before. I have no idea what the outcome of this situation will be. I mean really if I am gonna have a relationship, whats the plan? or the plan b?
Che mentioned in humble opinion, that we aren't realistic and feels sorry that I haven't found a guy in CA to be with me the way Adam is. Che thinks its a great idea for us to remain friends..and thinks I deserve to be more than someones virtual gf. As things get more real for Adam and I - serious frustrations will occur because of the distance... Che is a smarty..
Monday, May 4, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
SOuth
South for the winter, south of the border, south...on your way to HELL!
So things seem to be going South after our little tryst and we are having issues or rather I am because I am not happy right now. Yet there I was last night tellin karin how much I love and care and how things are so freaking cute between us. Maybe they are but obviously not some times. Its those some times that are so freaking ugh to me because they are noticeable flaws... noticeable imperfections. I am also imperfect and no one can meet my needs all the time. Should I say "hi im calling you before you say anything perverted, just know that I want you to approve and enjoy the way I look today not ask me to spread my legs so you can see my thong".. ugh.
There are little noticeable spats..and its such a bummer. Grrr.
So things seem to be going South after our little tryst and we are having issues or rather I am because I am not happy right now. Yet there I was last night tellin karin how much I love and care and how things are so freaking cute between us. Maybe they are but obviously not some times. Its those some times that are so freaking ugh to me because they are noticeable flaws... noticeable imperfections. I am also imperfect and no one can meet my needs all the time. Should I say "hi im calling you before you say anything perverted, just know that I want you to approve and enjoy the way I look today not ask me to spread my legs so you can see my thong".. ugh.
There are little noticeable spats..and its such a bummer. Grrr.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
thoughts and a great article on how to get over someone
Dear Blog,
Well, last night I talked to Adam and he was very kind and sweet as I was feeling totally terrible yesterday. I tried to express to him as well as I could that I want to be with him, that I thought I might have made a mistake judging him and making the call to stop talking and that I do want to talk to him and have things be like they were, and this morning realized they can't be. They can be good, they can even be great but truthfully but they will be different and never as before. I cannot have the expectation that he will go back to being who he was when he felt "infatuated". New feelings and us getting to know one another have replaced that, like they do and will continue to do so. Apparently this is how friendships and relationship "grow" and "change".
I finally took my clothes OUTOFTHE DRYER! Yay! I am feeling much better today than yesterday. I was going totally psycho and off the deep end. I am glad this does not happen weekly anymore as it did when I was younger and I think a large portion of this crazy week was my emotions going out of whack because of my monthly visitor. Ugh! Hated it!
Luckily my visitor lasts only 3 days and its already gone, and I am back to my more cheerful, more driven, more focused, slightly more positive self. :D I also recently realized I am a pessimist. :P I made some special pasta for Gloria's shower today and I got her a nice card. I also chipped in my last $40 to get her a nice gift. She also actually invited me to her "real" baby shower. Similar to LaToya. No one else in the company is invited. Geez, I hope this never changes. I can't help wondering did they both invite me to their real baby showers because they really like me or just because I am new at the company? My mind leans toward the first thought. They really like me, awww! I will write more later if I can.
love,
me
Feeling Hurt From Dating
Did you just go out on a date and wonder how it went? Are you staying up all night wondering if he/she feels the same way you do? Are you afraid of approaching the person you like? Pretty much everyone has been in this situation at one time or another. Here’s why: The root of all pain like this comes from your imagination and an uncertainty about what to do.
Dating The Fantasy
When you like a person, you constantly think about them. You imagine yourself in a fantasy, where you go places and do things together. Your lives together are perfect. He/she is romantic, loving, kind, and does exactly what you want when you want it. The only problem is, this person doesn’t actually exist. He/she is a projection of your idealized version of the person you like. What happens when he/she does something different from how you’d imagined? You start to lose a piece of your fantasy. You’ll either feel hurt that he/she isn’t doing what you want “anymore”, and perhaps try to change that person (which will not be well received). So, to start off, try to not imagine what it’d be like, or how good it would be. This is where an intuitive mind trying to analyze tons of possibilities becomes extremely harmful. Date the real person, not the fantasy.
The other thing that happens when you think about your future together too much is that you are analyzing too deeply down one branch of the possibility tree. Other parts of your life start to shrink because all your thoughts are focused on how good it would be together. You think about having kids, raising a family, sharing lots of romantic adventures together. However, these things are way in the future. That will only happen IF he/she likes you, IF you continue to like him/her, IF you decide to have a baby, etc. There are just so many things that can change that particular possibility. So then, what happens when you break up? All your planning has been focused on the two of you being together, so when the unexpected happens, you have no alternate plan! This is when people sit at home crying, blaming the other person for not fulfilling their dreams.
Knowing Yourself
This is why you need a backup plan. What would you do if you broke up? What would you do if he/she died? This does NOT mean that you should maintain relationships with other people “in case you broke up”. That would be a horrible breach of trust. I’m talking about what you would do if you were completely alone. Say there were no people in the world, what would you do? Now say there were 2 people in the world, what would you do? Then add various #s of people and plan out what you would do. This will allow you to understand what you want better and know what to do in most of the common situations. You’ll probably still feel a bit hurt, but it won’t be the end of the world because you’ll have a life outside of the relationship. You won’t feel the “my life is coming to an end” type of pain.
Aren’t those situations of you being alone completely unlikely though? No! Not at all. Even if there are people around, you can still be alone. In fact, outside of very involved relationships, you are alone most of the time. Whenever you are focusing on yourself and don’t notice other people, it’s the same as if you were alone. Knowing what you’d do in this situation really helps you out in figuring out what you want. You have to learn to like yourself in this state because then, any kind of relationship breakup wouldn’t be so bad. Sure, you’ll feel a loss, but you’ll still have something pretty great to return to.
Key To a Healthy Relationship With Them
That is the key to a healthy relationship actually, since even in a relationship, you’ll be alone some portion of the time. A relationship is just an extension of the economic model. You have something he/she wants, and he/she has something you want (sex, companionship, etc.) As a result, the both of you benefit each other. Over time, as the two of you trade more and more, you realize that it’ll be more efficient if you just stayed together. That’s how it is in a healthy relationship. When you don’t really know yourself and don’t have much to offer in your relationship, that’s when you become “desparate”. It’s also when the other person feel this exceeding neediness from you, which leads the the suspicion that you have much less to offer than what you’ll be getting. If that is the case, then of course the relationship would feel like the center of the world to you, as you are deriving most of your identity from your partner. It would also explain why you would feel very hurt and angry when your partner leaves, since he/she took away all that stuff you were getting.
On the other hand, if you had a strong identity outside of the relationship, then you would simply return to the happy state you were in before you made the trades. You tried a particular trade and it didn’t work out. Now you’re left with what you started with, but with more experience. Do you realize that means you’re better off than you were before you entered the relationship? Life is series of ups and downs. You’re now standing at a point higher than you were at before the relationship (and either higher or lower than when you were in the relationship depending on how you look at it).
Just stop thinking about it and start doing the things you love. The worst case scenario? You’ll never get into a relationship again and do the things you love until you die. Just be okay with that possibility. Think about it, isn’t that a great thing? Now, if a relationship happens to come along which will make you happier - Okee dokie! Sounds good to me.
A lot of pain comes as a result of not knowing yourself and what you want. That’s because not knowing creates a lot of uncertainity in situations, which paralyzes you. For example, let’s say you just had a date and you sit around wondering when the other person would call. Days pass and no call; you become worried, not knowing where you’re at. That’s a common situation that causes many people a lot of distress. The truth is, it’s very easy to deal with when you’ve planned out all the possibilities. You can say something like, if I don’t get a call within a few days, I’ll call him/her back, then don’t think about it anymore. Is thinking about it going to make the other person more likely to call? Not even a little, so why waste time thinking about something you can’t change? Just do what you’ve always been doing before and after them-living a happy life.
The old cliche advice really is the way to go. "Know what you love to do, do it, and you’ll meet people along the way."
Well, last night I talked to Adam and he was very kind and sweet as I was feeling totally terrible yesterday. I tried to express to him as well as I could that I want to be with him, that I thought I might have made a mistake judging him and making the call to stop talking and that I do want to talk to him and have things be like they were, and this morning realized they can't be. They can be good, they can even be great but truthfully but they will be different and never as before. I cannot have the expectation that he will go back to being who he was when he felt "infatuated". New feelings and us getting to know one another have replaced that, like they do and will continue to do so. Apparently this is how friendships and relationship "grow" and "change".
I finally took my clothes OUTOFTHE DRYER! Yay! I am feeling much better today than yesterday. I was going totally psycho and off the deep end. I am glad this does not happen weekly anymore as it did when I was younger and I think a large portion of this crazy week was my emotions going out of whack because of my monthly visitor. Ugh! Hated it!
Luckily my visitor lasts only 3 days and its already gone, and I am back to my more cheerful, more driven, more focused, slightly more positive self. :D I also recently realized I am a pessimist. :P I made some special pasta for Gloria's shower today and I got her a nice card. I also chipped in my last $40 to get her a nice gift. She also actually invited me to her "real" baby shower. Similar to LaToya. No one else in the company is invited. Geez, I hope this never changes. I can't help wondering did they both invite me to their real baby showers because they really like me or just because I am new at the company? My mind leans toward the first thought. They really like me, awww! I will write more later if I can.
love,
me
Feeling Hurt From Dating
Did you just go out on a date and wonder how it went? Are you staying up all night wondering if he/she feels the same way you do? Are you afraid of approaching the person you like? Pretty much everyone has been in this situation at one time or another. Here’s why: The root of all pain like this comes from your imagination and an uncertainty about what to do.
Dating The Fantasy
When you like a person, you constantly think about them. You imagine yourself in a fantasy, where you go places and do things together. Your lives together are perfect. He/she is romantic, loving, kind, and does exactly what you want when you want it. The only problem is, this person doesn’t actually exist. He/she is a projection of your idealized version of the person you like. What happens when he/she does something different from how you’d imagined? You start to lose a piece of your fantasy. You’ll either feel hurt that he/she isn’t doing what you want “anymore”, and perhaps try to change that person (which will not be well received). So, to start off, try to not imagine what it’d be like, or how good it would be. This is where an intuitive mind trying to analyze tons of possibilities becomes extremely harmful. Date the real person, not the fantasy.
The other thing that happens when you think about your future together too much is that you are analyzing too deeply down one branch of the possibility tree. Other parts of your life start to shrink because all your thoughts are focused on how good it would be together. You think about having kids, raising a family, sharing lots of romantic adventures together. However, these things are way in the future. That will only happen IF he/she likes you, IF you continue to like him/her, IF you decide to have a baby, etc. There are just so many things that can change that particular possibility. So then, what happens when you break up? All your planning has been focused on the two of you being together, so when the unexpected happens, you have no alternate plan! This is when people sit at home crying, blaming the other person for not fulfilling their dreams.
Knowing Yourself
This is why you need a backup plan. What would you do if you broke up? What would you do if he/she died? This does NOT mean that you should maintain relationships with other people “in case you broke up”. That would be a horrible breach of trust. I’m talking about what you would do if you were completely alone. Say there were no people in the world, what would you do? Now say there were 2 people in the world, what would you do? Then add various #s of people and plan out what you would do. This will allow you to understand what you want better and know what to do in most of the common situations. You’ll probably still feel a bit hurt, but it won’t be the end of the world because you’ll have a life outside of the relationship. You won’t feel the “my life is coming to an end” type of pain.
Aren’t those situations of you being alone completely unlikely though? No! Not at all. Even if there are people around, you can still be alone. In fact, outside of very involved relationships, you are alone most of the time. Whenever you are focusing on yourself and don’t notice other people, it’s the same as if you were alone. Knowing what you’d do in this situation really helps you out in figuring out what you want. You have to learn to like yourself in this state because then, any kind of relationship breakup wouldn’t be so bad. Sure, you’ll feel a loss, but you’ll still have something pretty great to return to.
Key To a Healthy Relationship With Them
That is the key to a healthy relationship actually, since even in a relationship, you’ll be alone some portion of the time. A relationship is just an extension of the economic model. You have something he/she wants, and he/she has something you want (sex, companionship, etc.) As a result, the both of you benefit each other. Over time, as the two of you trade more and more, you realize that it’ll be more efficient if you just stayed together. That’s how it is in a healthy relationship. When you don’t really know yourself and don’t have much to offer in your relationship, that’s when you become “desparate”. It’s also when the other person feel this exceeding neediness from you, which leads the the suspicion that you have much less to offer than what you’ll be getting. If that is the case, then of course the relationship would feel like the center of the world to you, as you are deriving most of your identity from your partner. It would also explain why you would feel very hurt and angry when your partner leaves, since he/she took away all that stuff you were getting.
On the other hand, if you had a strong identity outside of the relationship, then you would simply return to the happy state you were in before you made the trades. You tried a particular trade and it didn’t work out. Now you’re left with what you started with, but with more experience. Do you realize that means you’re better off than you were before you entered the relationship? Life is series of ups and downs. You’re now standing at a point higher than you were at before the relationship (and either higher or lower than when you were in the relationship depending on how you look at it).
Just stop thinking about it and start doing the things you love. The worst case scenario? You’ll never get into a relationship again and do the things you love until you die. Just be okay with that possibility. Think about it, isn’t that a great thing? Now, if a relationship happens to come along which will make you happier - Okee dokie! Sounds good to me.
A lot of pain comes as a result of not knowing yourself and what you want. That’s because not knowing creates a lot of uncertainity in situations, which paralyzes you. For example, let’s say you just had a date and you sit around wondering when the other person would call. Days pass and no call; you become worried, not knowing where you’re at. That’s a common situation that causes many people a lot of distress. The truth is, it’s very easy to deal with when you’ve planned out all the possibilities. You can say something like, if I don’t get a call within a few days, I’ll call him/her back, then don’t think about it anymore. Is thinking about it going to make the other person more likely to call? Not even a little, so why waste time thinking about something you can’t change? Just do what you’ve always been doing before and after them-living a happy life.
The old cliche advice really is the way to go. "Know what you love to do, do it, and you’ll meet people along the way."
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
ANGRY...
Whoa what is going on with me right now? I have to leave this guy alone and not talk to him! He is fine and happy with the way things are. He hasn't contacted me or been remotely similar to how he was. I need to let go hard. I am having trouble with that. Time to get my break up book back from Dihanna and apply that shit to this situation. Damn, on top of everthing, I am UBER pissed off.
The infatuation is fuckin gone and all I am left with all these shitty feelings and desire to reclaim what we had. GRRR I am not going to repeat this shit again. Another liar. Another drifting feelings creep. UGh... nevermind. I jsut need time, this part is going to suck,.. inevitably this part sucks dirty rotten a$$. :(
The infatuation is fuckin gone and all I am left with all these shitty feelings and desire to reclaim what we had. GRRR I am not going to repeat this shit again. Another liar. Another drifting feelings creep. UGh... nevermind. I jsut need time, this part is going to suck,.. inevitably this part sucks dirty rotten a$$. :(
why does no contact in a breakoff always mean contact from them?
I MISS DANIEL TODAY. WHY?! I didnt even know him that well! I mean really whats there to miss? Just the habit of having had him, him calling me and just talking to him, knowing he cared. That is what i miss. I am feeling lonely. i dont really need to. I am fine, right?
I need to find someone new to obsess over. I dont know why I do that. I totally idealize someone and then they just are jerks to me and break my heart in the end. Last night I felt completely starved for attention. It/I was so sad. I mean I got on stickam and met some friends..but it was lonely. i guess i better settle into "lonely" for awhile.
Spring break in other news! I am totally psyched! No school! Every night! what do I want to do with my time eh? Who, what, where?
I need to find someone new to obsess over. I dont know why I do that. I totally idealize someone and then they just are jerks to me and break my heart in the end. Last night I felt completely starved for attention. It/I was so sad. I mean I got on stickam and met some friends..but it was lonely. i guess i better settle into "lonely" for awhile.
Spring break in other news! I am totally psyched! No school! Every night! what do I want to do with my time eh? Who, what, where?
Monday, April 6, 2009
Yay!
So my birthday present to myself is very nice indeed. Tomorrow is my next midterm. I am trying for a A. I got a 4 point shy of an A in History and the 2nd highest grade IN THE CLASS! :) Not bad. The sacrifice was worth it, and with Daniel there, boy was it fun.
Its sad it had to end with him. =( but ce la vie. He was beginning to show signs of true too scary stuff...that I am all to familiar with and just want no part of anymore.
Ah, I feel so great right now! Well, my surrogate mom said she is proud of me and to keep going! Totally motivating me, she thinks I should try out for that extra credit in my class and go for it! She says I can do it, I can do anything, and I believe her.
I am gonna go see if I can get those movies to watch for review. Anyone want to watch boring History movies with me? Give me a shout!
/muah
Its sad it had to end with him. =( but ce la vie. He was beginning to show signs of true too scary stuff...that I am all to familiar with and just want no part of anymore.
Ah, I feel so great right now! Well, my surrogate mom said she is proud of me and to keep going! Totally motivating me, she thinks I should try out for that extra credit in my class and go for it! She says I can do it, I can do anything, and I believe her.
I am gonna go see if I can get those movies to watch for review. Anyone want to watch boring History movies with me? Give me a shout!
/muah
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Infatuation
Ah infatuation so so good yet so so so blinding. I am finally aware of myself once more and beginning to see the red flags that I probably should have taken account of in my last relationships. I cannot let this new boy distract me from what needs to be focused on. It was nice to have someone again who asks me about me, wants me, and wants to be around me much of the time, texts me and pay attention to what I say, but not one that disrespects me by raising his voice or behaves selfishly, there are no more third and fourth chances with this me. I have learned this the hard way...over many many years...the very hard..way. Ya heard, nigga?
It is time to tread lightly and not throw out the baby with the bathwater. I do not need to repeat old patterns. I can change my future NOW. I see a familiar movie playing and I can walk out of the theatre instead, ya feel me?
Mid terms are tough as nails but I am not giving up! My job is proving difficult with exceedingly more visual basic work.. by the day..
I am starting to play another MMORPG. I like it. Its beautiful and challenging. I have little to no time so its good its free. In other news, I am performing on stage for gospel choir in 7 days.. I am totally psyched and scared at the same time!
Chad and some other exes are coming to visit this summer. Chad. Hmm..more on how I once felt about Chad..here .
Car is still running like new. Surrogate family and I checked the battery today. I am loving where I live and school is...well I am going to have to work real hard to keep a 4.0 this semester, but hey, I am up to the challenge! I can do anything I put my mind to. Here I am giving D advice about her guy..
It is time to tread lightly and not throw out the baby with the bathwater. I do not need to repeat old patterns. I can change my future NOW. I see a familiar movie playing and I can walk out of the theatre instead, ya feel me?
Mid terms are tough as nails but I am not giving up! My job is proving difficult with exceedingly more visual basic work.. by the day..
I am starting to play another MMORPG. I like it. Its beautiful and challenging. I have little to no time so its good its free. In other news, I am performing on stage for gospel choir in 7 days.. I am totally psyched and scared at the same time!
Chad and some other exes are coming to visit this summer. Chad. Hmm..more on how I once felt about Chad..here .
Car is still running like new. Surrogate family and I checked the battery today. I am loving where I live and school is...well I am going to have to work real hard to keep a 4.0 this semester, but hey, I am up to the challenge! I can do anything I put my mind to. Here I am giving D advice about her guy..
Monday, March 9, 2009
Quick thoughts
I am in school working and very busy these days so I am just gonna jot down a bunch of random things and stream of consciousness writing.
I have met someone, again. Who-da thunk? He is soo hot and sweet and cute and just says such nice things. I am in school and got my first 8 in history for the 15 point quiz GRRR that means a C right now?? I will have to work harder this semester. My surrogate family says no boyfriend right now as I need my focus on school and God. This is true, I am sure. He is also in school so he needs to focus too so he can make awesome video games apparently. :)
I look shining. I am glowing. I got that once familiar high that one gets when they are feeling totally in love and have that on drugs called Daniel and connected to the person. Dopamine, nice to have you back my friend!
See that little 17 up there? Yeah, that's in HOURS muthatrucka!
Friday, March 6, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Ugh that guy again..
Driving past his house. Ugh thoughts, memories. Most bad some good. I know everything happens for a reason...sometimes it just takes something spectacular to realize the reasons for things.I read through a blog from back in the day that spoke of me still having a desire to get back together with Chris. It is interesting because when we broke up I held onto the idea that we would eventually get back together someday. I no longer want this. I pray for him to be happy and now I am slowly forgetting him - little by little. I've realized that I can't put myself in that kind of relationship ever again. I was incredibly unfair and horrible to myself by staying with him and more so for believing in him and getting back together with him time and again. I deserve(d) someone who has the ability to reciprocate feelings I have/had and the kind of love I showed. Dancing to "you've had your chance so say goodbye....say goodbye." I have started focusing on me and other boys again. I take the time to relax mentally and push myself hard physically. It is time for me to be the selfish one for a change. Started school, new cam, new job, new car, new music, new home life, new activities, new friends, new boyfriends, new goals every Feb baby like clockwork. What was going on last Feb hmm? and then an IM today "oh how are you?" (now that the other chick i left you for didn't actually want me.) "Been good about not contacting you" lol.. well stay that way nigga no time for the old ones who only wanted me when no one else is/was around...prayers for the last 2 months to come and in other news.. look who's rightly having a baby! Awww. More lata, I have TOO much studying to do.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Surprised but shouldnt be
I am surprised at Chris''s new insulting actions, but then again not that surprised because look at his actions previously and you can clearly see his future actions.
I am utterly and completely disgusted by him right now. I cannot believe I ever put myself in such a dire situation and allowed someone free reign to walk over me in such a callous and selfish way. This guy has done so many terrible things to me and continues to try to hurt me any small chance he has. Every time I even think of him it is a small step backward, not to mention answering his call or IM..
He has already moved on, is prob fucking someone else, in a relationship, and yet still has the nerve to even read my website or look at my name. Statute of limitations on a DV case is 3 years - I saw my papers from the courthouse from March 08 the other day..let's take a guess where his future gf will be? None of my business anymore. He may get paid well and have some stature in his business but he is still a drug using, lying, abusive person who selfishly has no sense of morality or wise judgment.
I am so angry right now, its hard to work. I'm going to take a relaxing bath tonight and light some incense and ask for a sweet massage.
I am utterly and completely disgusted by him right now. I cannot believe I ever put myself in such a dire situation and allowed someone free reign to walk over me in such a callous and selfish way. This guy has done so many terrible things to me and continues to try to hurt me any small chance he has. Every time I even think of him it is a small step backward, not to mention answering his call or IM..
He has already moved on, is prob fucking someone else, in a relationship, and yet still has the nerve to even read my website or look at my name. Statute of limitations on a DV case is 3 years - I saw my papers from the courthouse from March 08 the other day..let's take a guess where his future gf will be? None of my business anymore. He may get paid well and have some stature in his business but he is still a drug using, lying, abusive person who selfishly has no sense of morality or wise judgment.
I am so angry right now, its hard to work. I'm going to take a relaxing bath tonight and light some incense and ask for a sweet massage.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Da Babies
so far..
Ocean Khaius
Christopher Lawrence
Luke Christopher
Michael Luke
Chetson John
Michelle Coral
Melody Beth
Charissa Denise
Faith Lynnmarie
I took this test but I got this result..so what now?!
Ocean Khaius
Christopher Lawrence
Luke Christopher
Michael Luke
Chetson John
Michelle Coral
Melody Beth
Charissa Denise
Faith Lynnmarie
I took this test but I got this result..so what now?!
You Are 4% Ready to Be a Parent |
 You are definitely not ready to be a parent. You don't have much support, and you don't have the emotional resources to have a kid. This doesn't mean that you would be a bad parent, it just means you have some work to do. Get your finances, health, and relationships in order. Then you'll be ready to have a kid. If you do happen to be a parent, hang in there - and try to find support where you can. Things can only get better from here. |
Sunday, February 8, 2009
new whip
i got a whip
this whip is good for the price and really great for the timing. as you can see its good for 3
this whip is good for the price and really great for the timing. as you can see its good for 3
Holy Blessings Batman!
more stream of consciousness... if you dont understand well thats ok see another post below. i just have to get this all down..the smells, the feels, the ideas, the pain and happiness.. i cant believe what is happening..i signed a legal document just now.. $3000, .4 mi... 2/13/09...i am shocked at the events that are occurring in my life all at once. i almost don't know how to handle it all..first i break up with chris, i lose everything... and now i have a baby car job boyfriend and even gonna have a place to live with many helpful amenities and at a cheaper rate than i was paying before...oh before.. could i ever have imagined all these things happening... father a father how sweet and nice and loving a mother a little crazy but try her best ... friends are still here and around and the time to give back is now. im not afraid i just want to do the very best i can and be the best i can be in Gods eyes.
God has totally blessed me everyone has ups and downs, i am on the up, the time is now..
God has totally blessed me everyone has ups and downs, i am on the up, the time is now..
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